


The Runaways

by CarolPeletier



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-01 12:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12705405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarolPeletier/pseuds/CarolPeletier
Summary: With graduation approaching, Carol Mason's best friend Daryl has just approached her with an exciting, spontaneous proposition.  With no prospective jobs or strong ties to keep them in their small, dying town, the idea to start new lives somewhere new and different suddenly doesn't seem like such a bad idea.





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do own the characters from The Walking Dead.  They belong solely to the creator of the television show and graphic novels.

The Runaways

Chapter 1

_We should go somewhere._

_Where?_

_Anywhere. Just go somewhere and never look back._

_We can’t do that._

_Why not?_

_Because…it’s crazy.  That’s why._

_We’re eighteen.  We can get jobs._

_Yeah, but…Daryl, that’s crazy._

_You trust me?_

_I trust you more than anybody._

_Then come with me._

Carol Mason looked up from where she sat under the old oak tree in the quad, and her phone fell into her lap.  Daryl Dixon came walking across the grass with his backpack slung over his shoulder.  He stuffed his phone into his back pocket, and she watched him as her hair fell into her eyes.  He gave her a smile, and she looked up at him, pushing her own dark-auburn curls out of her face. 

“Whaddya say?”

“Daryl, have you lost your mind?” she asked, reaching up for his hand and tugging him down into the grass next to her. 

“Probably,” he smirked.  Carol stared at him and shook her head. 

“Of all of your crazy ideas, I think this one tops them all.  When did you suddenly decide to take a few notes from the book of Merle?”

“I ain’t nothin’ like that asshole.”

“You know what I meant,” she sighed.  “He’s always taking off and leaving.”

“Yeah, so why can’t I do that?”  Carol stared at him for a moment.  “There ain’t nothing for me here.  No jobs in this shit town.”  Carol frowned, looking down at her phone in her hand.  “You ain’t sayin’ anything, ‘cause you know you wanna do this.”

“No I don’t,” she lied.

“You do,” he snorted.  “You ain’t never been able to lie to me.”  Carol rolled her eyes at that.  “My old man’s in jail.  He ain’t coming back.  Merle’s gonna end up burning the house down one of these days.”

“I’m sorry, Daryl,” she sighed.  “Your brother’s an asshole.”

“Guess it runs in the family.”

“Well, you’re not,” she offered.  “Of all the Dixons I’ve ever met, you’re the best of them.”  She plucked a dandelion from the grass and tossed it at him.  Carol had always been like that.  Since they’d met in first grade, she’d been his best friend.  She’d been the only kid at school that actually treated him kindly, and in junior high school when his mother had divorced his dad and taken off to parts unknown, she’d watched as his dad pretty much checked out.  He would leave for weeks at a time, leaving just enough cash for the boys to get by, apparently feeling free of responsibility since Merle was an adult and Daryl could fend for himself. 

Carol’s home life hadn’t been much better.  Her mother had died before she could remember, and her father was busy with work and women, and he gave her whatever she wanted, aside from the attention and love a child needed from a father.  She’d pretty much raised herself, and while she didn’t hate her father, she really didn’t feel much toward him at all.  She’d considered moving out the day she turned eighteen, but the only thing that kept her from leaving town all together was her very best friend.  She wouldn’t leave without him.

Now, here he was, asking her to leave with him, and all she could do was call him crazy.  He was far from crazy.   In fact, with graduation a week away, no job prospects in a thirty mile radius and no plans for college, going off somewhere new to start a new life didn’t sound like a terrible idea.  Only, the idea of going off somewhere with Daryl, her very best friend and the guy she’d been secretly in love with since third period math class their seventh-grade year when that loser Ed Peletier tried for the tenth time to get her to go on a date with him.  When she’d refused, he’d started to tease her and call her awful names in front of the entire class.  Daryl had stood up and punched Peletier right in the nose.  He’d been her biggest defender, and maybe she hadn’t known it in that moment, but she’d started to look at him in a new light that day.  He wasn’t just her good friend Daryl.  He was the guy that stood up for her and made her feel safe.  He was the guy that would come hang out at her house and watch movies when they were bored or when it was a rainy day.  They spent more time together than they spent with their own families, and she was closer to him than anyone.  And he had no idea how she felt.  At least she didn’t think he did.  If he had any idea, he’d never made it known.

“You still thinking about going to college?”

“No.”  Carol’s answer was short and quick.  Daryl looked at her.  “My dad wanted me to go.  I think it was just his way of getting rid of me.”  She rolled her eyes.  “He gave me my graduation gift last night.  He gave me cash.”

“Better than Christmas last year?”

“Oh yeah,” Carol snorted dryly.  “He gave me five grand.  _Oh._ He also handed me student loan applications.  He’s desperate to get me out of the house.  I think he’s going to turn my room into a gym.”

“Well, the money’s good.  Dad left us fifty bucks for groceries before he got carted off to jail.”

“Fifty dollars?” Carol asked.

“Well, that ain’t countin’ the money I’ve skimmed over the last few years.  Had to hide that shit from Merle, or he’d have used it on drugs or women.”  Daryl scooted over to lean against the tree next to her.   “We’d be ok for a while.”

“Daryl, I don’t know,” she murmured, though a yes was on the tip of her tongue.  If he left, she’d follow him, because he was the only constant in her life.  The very idea of him leaving without her had her stomach twisting in knots. 

“Maybe it’s dumb,” he murmured.  “Just don’t want to stay here and turn into my brother.”

“That  could _never_ happen,” Carol insisted.  She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed.  “Can I think about it?”

“Yeah.  I was gonna leave after graduation.”  Carol felt that knot tighten in her stomach. He really was serious.

“You’re…you’re going either way, aren’t you?”

“I don’t wanna go without you.  If you want to stay, I’ll stay.  I just…you’re my best friend.  It’s just been us for a long time, and if I go somewhere, I want you to come with me.  Hell, we can get odd jobs on the road ‘til we find a place we want to stay.”

“And then what?” she asked with a laugh.  “We’ll find an apartment and be roomies until we’re old and grey?”

“Or ‘til we get married.”  He nearly choked on his tongue, and Carol’s eyes widened.  “I mean, ‘til one of us gets married and moves out.”

“Oh,” she murmured.  “Right.”  She got up then, brushing the grass off of the back of her pants.  She slung her bag over her shoulder and stared down at him.  “We could wash dishes in old diners.  Or work in one of those old movie theaters where everything looks like it’s out of the fifties.”  Daryl smirked at that.  “We could do anything.  We could find a place where nobody lives and just stay there.”  She smiled a little, remembering the fantasies they’d had when they were kids, where they’d just pretend they were something, someone different, somewhere far away where nobody knew who they were and they could be whatever they imagined for themselves. 

“That sounds kinda like a yes,” Daryl offered.   

“It’s a maybe,” she admitted with a smile.  Daryl stood then, grabbing his book bag, and they started off across the quad toward the parking lot.  


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Daryl tossed his headphones into the chair in the corner of his room and threw his book bag into the corner.  He’d checked the house thoroughly before retiring to his room, making sure Merle wasn’t anywhere around.  So, when he got into his closet and lifted up the paneling on the ceiling at the top of the closet, he felt pretty sure his hiding spot was still secure.

He took the small box to his bed and opened it up, revealing the stacks of money he’d saved for himself out of what their old man would leave them before he’d go off on one of his benders.  With Will Dixon being behind bars for now, Daryl was certain that the only source of income they were going to have was whatever Merle was pulling in off the streets.  He knew what his brother was doing, and while he didn’t like it, he had never really had a choice in the matter.  But he’d turned eighteen last week, and the last thing he wanted to do was stay put in this shithole.

He spent most of his days with Carol anyway, at least when her dad wasn’t around, which conveniently enough, was _also_ most of the time. Carol had had a couple of boyfriends, nothing too serious, and while Daryl had never thought any of the guys were good enough for her, he always found himself increasingly frustrated every time Carol found herself going on a date with someone new.  He knew why.  He knew his feelings for her had turned into something more than friendly, but he couldn’t pinpoint the exact time.  He just knew that now, any time she brushed his hair out of his eyes or touched his shoulder, he felt a spark go right through him.  He’d been having thoughts about her for a long while now, and there had been times she’d caught him daydreaming and he’d managed to pass off the blush in his cheeks as something else, feeling too hot or maybe just being stressed out. 

He hated lying to her.  She was the one person in the world he never wanted to lie to.  But if he told her how he felt, it would change everything, and he didn’t want her to feel weird around him.  She was the only person in the world he trusted.  So, he figured he could swallow down his feelings and wait for them to change. And if they didn’t change, well, at least he would still have her in his life as his very best friend.

He counted out nearly two grand in cash, and he had another fifty in his wallet.  Between him and Carol, they had over seven thousand between them, and that would be more than enough to get somewhere far away and start over.  Plus, he had that old motorcycle he’d been fixing up for the past year and a half, and he could probably get another half a grand out of that, easy. 

His phone buzzed, and he grabbed for it, flopping back on his bed to see that Carol was calling him.  He cleared his throat and answered the call.

“You make up your mind yet?”

“Daryl?” he could hear the strain in her voice, like she’d been crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I come over?”

“What’s goin’ on?  What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“Yeah.  Yeah, come over.  Merle ain’t here.  He shows up, we’ll go someplace else.  You ok?”

“I need a place to crash for a couple days.  Um, I just need to get out of here.”

“You can stay here.  Whatever you need.  Just come over.  Be careful, alright?” 

“Ok.  Ok, thank you.”  She sniffled, and the call ended, and Daryl felt his heart thundering in his chest.  It always struck him when she got upset.  He hated seeing her cry, because he knew that when she did cry, it was for a good reason. She was strong.  She’d had to be. 

Daryl was worried, but he knew it wouldn’t take long for her to get there.  So, he headed back out into the house, picking up the mess Merle had left.  Empty beer bottles littered the coffee table.  Some pill bottles had spilled out of a bag Merle always took with him when he left the house.  Daryl picked those up and took them to Merle’s room, tossing them into the mess on his bed.  He closed the door to Merle’s room and then quickly picked up the clothes that were scattered down the hallway.

Carol had seen the house in worse shape before, but it was embarrassing anyway.  They normally hung out at her house, anyway, because Merle always had to come home and make rude comments about their relationship.  Carol never seemed to let it bother her, but it bothered him.

Next, he moved to his room, smoothing out the blankets on his bed, picking up a dirty glass from the night stand and taking it to the kitchen.  He grabbed his dirty laundry and tossed it in the washer.

It wasn’t long before he heard her car pull into the drive way, and when she showed up at his front door, she had a duffel bag slung over one shoulder and her purse and backpack slung over the other.  Her eyes were red from crying, and her lower lip was trembling. 

He said nothing as he opened the door and let her in, and the second she was in the foyer, she dropped her things to the floor and threw her arms around his neck.  He held her close, gently rubbing her back as she cried on his shoulder. 

“It’s ok,” he murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat and inhaling the sweet honey scent of her hair.  “What happened?” 

“It’s my dad,” she choked out, pulling back and wiping at her eyes.  Daryl grabbed her bags and took them down the hall to his room.  She followed behind him, and when he turned at the bed, she was standing right there. 

“Here.  Sit down.”  They both took a seat on the edge of his bed, and Carol ran her fingers through her curls.  “What’d he do?”

“I came home from school, and his car’s there, which is weird.  He’s usually at work or out with somebody.”

“Ok,” Daryl said slowly.  “What happened?”

“I went to my room, and he was waiting for me, Daryl.”

“In your room?”

“Yeah, he was sitting at my desk, just waiting for me.”  She sniffled.  “He tells me we have to talk, and we never talk, so that freaked me out.  I sat down, and he tells me he’s getting married.”

“Shit.  Really?” 

“Uh-huh,” she choked out, wiping at her eyes.  “He’s getting married, and his new wife apparently has a couple of kids, and he says that after graduation, he needs me to find a place to live.”

“What the fuck?” Daryl asked, narrowing his eyes.  “He’s kickin’ you out?  Just like that.”

“He says that it’s for my own good.  Honestly, I think he just wants an excuse to not have to look at me and think about my mom.”  She wiped her nose.  “He gives me an envelope with some more cash in it and says I have to be out after next week.”  Daryl felt the anger bubble up inside of him as she sat there and cried.  As much as Carol’s father wasn’t really around, he knew it had to feel like a punch in the gut to be cast aside like that just in time to move the new family in.

“Fuck him,” Daryl bit out.  “Come on.”  He stood up, and Carol looked up at him.

“What?”

“Come on.  Let’s go get your shit.  He wants you out?  You can stay here ‘til we figure somethin’ out.”

“Daryl…”

“Come on.  He ain’t gonna say shit to you if I’m there.  Asshole.”  He was pacing now, and Carol stood up, moving behind him and wrapping her arms around him from behind.

“Stop.  Please.”  She rested her chin on his shoulder.  “I don’t want to go back there.  I grabbed a few changes of clothes, some things I need.  I don’t want to go back.  I just want to go.”

“You wanna go?” he asked.  Carol let go of him, and he turned to her.

“After graduation.  I don’t want to be here.  I can’t.  I just want to leave and not look back.”

“You sure?  You don’t wanna sleep on it?  You don’t wanna talk to him?”

“I’ve lived with my dad for eighteen years, Daryl.  I don’t know the man, but I know him well enough to know that he’s always resented me.  He loved my mom.  I’ve seen it in their wedding pictures.  They were happy.  Maybe he didn’t want kids.  I don’t know.  Somewhere along the way, maybe before I was born, maybe after, I became the thing that got in the way of his happiness with my mom.  Then she died, and he was stuck with me.”  She sniffled and shook her head.  “He just bought me off with toys and clothes and I guess he thought if I had anything I wanted, I wouldn’t ask him for anything else.”

“M’sorry,” he murmured.  “He’s an asshole.”  In all of the years he and Carol had been friends, Daryl had only interacted with her dad a handful of times.  The man was cold.  Distant.  He wasn’t cruel or mean, but it somehow seemed worse than that.  He just didn’t care.  And Daryl hated that, because Mr. Mason reminded him of his own father in a lot of ways, only without the booze.

“You’re sure I can stay here?”

“Yeah.  Merle might be home.  Don’t know.  Sometimes he’s gone for a week at a time.”  He cleared his throat.  “Sorry the house is a damn mess.”

“It’s ok.  It’s still better than being there.  I can’t be there.”  She sniffled then, and shook her head.  “I guess he figured since I wasn’t going to college, this was the only alternative to getting me out of the house.”  She had known that he wanted her gone, but she hadn’t counted on him moving a wife and a couple of kids into the place in her absence.  She was pretty certain this was as close to feeling like literal garbage she’d ever been.  He was tossing her out and replacing her with a new family like some old TV set that worked and everything but just didn’t fit right in the room.  “God, I don’t know why I care so much.  I was just thinking about moving out.  I shouldn’t care.  I don’t…”

“You can say it as much as ya want, but when it comes down to it, that’s still your dad, and for him to say those things to you…” 

“It hurts,” Carol sniffled.  “Yeah.  It sucks.”

“Well, you can stay here as long as ya like.” 

“Thank you,” she murmured, hugging him again.  When she pulled back, she gave him a half-smile.  “After graduation?”

“Yeah,” Daryl promised.  “You sure about this?”

“What’s left for me here?” she asked.  “If you’re leaving, I’m leaving.”  Daryl nodded then.  That was all he needed to know.

“Good,” he said with a nod.  “C’mon.  Let’s grab somethin’ to eat and watch TV.  You can even pick the show.”

“Oh, how thoughtful,” she chuckled, finally managing to dry her tears as she followed Daryl out of his room and into the front of the house.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Carol had fallen asleep halfway through some ghost hunting show, and when she woke, Daryl was in the kitchen.  She rubbed her eyes and sat up, finding a couple of new messages on her cell phone.  A part of her wondered if maybe her father had messaged her, but she knew that wasn’t the case.  For all he cared, she was out apartment hunting to get out of his place a little faster.

She still didn’t know why it stung so much.  She had no relationship with him.  She just existed under the same roof with him her entire childhood, and when he was home, he stayed in his space and she stayed in hers.  Holidays were nothing big.  They didn’t do Thanksgiving dinner.  Instead, he would fly out of town for some business meeting, and she knew it was to meet a woman.  She didn’t care.  She wasn’t much of a turkey person, anyway.  Christmas was rough, because as a child, she’d loved to decorate the Christmas tree, and her father would humor her by going out and buying one and letting her do whatever she wanted with the decorations.  The tree always had a pile of presents under it, until she was older, and then it was just an envelope with cash. 

He’d gotten her a car when she turned sixteen, and to most people, she was the little rich girl who got whatever she wanted.  Daryl knew better.  He knew she spent most of her time alone when she wasn’t with him.

The two messages were from Tobin Murphy, a perfectly nice guy from school that had always asked her to dances that she never wanted to go to.  She had always felt bad, because she knew he had a crush on her, but he wasn’t her type and she didn’t want to lead him on.

_Hey.  Tobin, here.  Was just wondering if you wanted to go to that party Andrea Harrison’s throwing after graduation._

_Oh, I got a job at the hardware store.  If you’re still looking for work, I can probably get you on here._

“Hey, I ordered pizza.”  Carol looked up to see Daryl stepping into the living room with a paper plate in each hand.  “Your dad call?”

“You kidding?” Carol asked.  “No, that was Tobin.”

“Tobin?  It’s a little late to be askin’ you to prom, ain’t it?”

“Oh, be nice.  He’s sweet.”  Daryl snorted and plopped down on the couch next to her.  He handed her a plate, and she smiled.  “Pepperoni and bacon.  My favorite.”

“I know.”  He took a big chomp of his slice, and Carol grinned. 

“Thank you,” she murmured, nudging his arm with her elbow. 

“Don’t mention it.”  He eyed her phone.  “So, what does Captain Hall Monitor want?” 

“He wants me to go to Andrea’s after-graduation party with him.  And he said he wants to help me get on at the hardware store he just hired on at.” 

“You’d look kinda hot wearin’ an apron and mixing paint.”  Carol scrunched her nose.  “You thinkin’ about it?”

“About what?  The party or the job?”

“Both.”

“Oh,” Carol shrugged.  “That would sort of defeat the purpose of getting the hell away from this place, wouldn’t it?  It’s something, sure, but then what?”  She sighed.  “And I don’t want to go to the party.  Andrea’s nice enough, but we never hung out.  We weren’t friends.  Hell, I barely know half of the people we’re graduating with.   I don’t feel the need to go hang out with a bunch of people I don’t know when I’d rather hang out with you.”

“Yeah?”  Daryl perked up a little. 

“Besides, we’ll probably be halfway across the state by then.”  She took a deep, shaking breath.

“You ain’t gonna change your mind?  Maybe you could take that job at the store just for a while.”

“Then what?” Carol asked.  “Daryl, I grew up watching my dad take off every other weekend to just get away from me and from this place.  I don’t want a reason to be stuck here.  I just want to go.  I don’t want to look back.”  She took a bite of her pizza, and Daryl threw his arm around her shoulder. 

“So, that’s a no to the aprons and the paint mixing?”

“That’s a no.  At least in this place.  When we get out there?  I’ll probably take what I can get.”  Daryl quirked an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak, but Carol put her hand over his mouth and laughed.  “Don’t even think about it.”

“What?  You didn’t know what I was gonna say.”

“I know you,” she laughed.  “Too well, Daryl Dixon.”

“You don’t know everything,” he pointed out.  She grinned and shook her head.

“Yeah.  Just keep telling yourself that.”  Daryl smiled then, and he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I guess you got me there.  But I know you better’n you know me.”

“Not possible,” she laughed.  He got up to go grab more pizza, and she felt the anxiety melt away.  What was it about being around him that just made everything seem like it was going to be ok?  He had always been the one person that could cheer her up when she was feeling so bad, and she was pretty sure she was the only person who could talk him down when Merle or his dad did something stupid.  They just knew each other, and while the prospect of going out in the world where nobody knew her and where she could make a new life scared the complete shit out of her, there was nobody else she’d rather have by her side than Daryl Dixon, the only guy she’d ever loved.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

“You sure you wanna do this?” Daryl asked, as they stood outside of Carol’s dad’s house after school the next day.

“Yeah.  He’s not home.  I still have a key.  There are a few things I want, but the rest he can deal with.”  Daryl reached over, taking her hand in his, and he gave it a squeeze.

“I’m gonna be here the whole time, so don’t worry ‘bout that.”

“Thanks, Daryl,” Carol murmured, squeezing his hand.  “I’m glad you’re here.” 

She’d slept in his bed the night before, and he’d slept on the couch.  Thankfully, Merle had decided to stay out all night and still wasn’t home by the time they got up for school.  At lunch that day, Carol had decided to go back home for some of her things.  In her rush to leave, she’d left a photo album that held the only few pictures of her mother she had as well as countless pictures of her and Daryl over the years.  There were still a few items of clothing she wanted to find, along with her laptop, though she wasn’t sure what good that would do her on the road.  Her most valuable possession in terms of money was the car her father had bought her the year she turned 16.  It was a Chevy Equinox in custom cerulean blue.  He’d paid for it outright, and it was in her name.  It only had a couple thousand miles on it, as she only used it to drive back and forth from home to school, from school to Daryl’s, from Daryl’s to home.  She’d taken good care of it, and Daryl had told her he was pretty sure it could get them wherever they wanted to go.

Daryl had been puttering around in Merle’s old pickup, which actually belonged to their father, but he’d given it to Merle as a way of getting him out of the house, though Merle rarely used it now.  He had his motorcycle, which he used more often than not, but Daryl knew Merle would hunt him down and beat the hell out of him if he tried taking off with it.  Daryl’s plan had been to buy a truck off of one of the neighbors, but Carol had urged him to keep his money, insisting her car was newer, in better shape and could get them a lot further than some beat up old truck that would probably break down every five hundred miles or so. 

Carol unlocked the door and they stepped inside so she could silence the alarm.  Daryl grabbed a couple of sodas out of the fridge and the box of cold pizza out of the fridge.  Carol gave him a look, but he just shrugged.

 “He can buy his own damn pizza.  I brought this over three days ago.”

“Ok,” Carol chuckled.  “You eat your moldy pizza.”  Daryl frowned and looked in the box. 

“It ain’t moldy yet.”  He picked up a piece and pushed it toward her.  “See?”

“Gross,” she laughed.  He smiled and took a bite, and she shook her head as they stepped into her bedroom.  She took a moment, standing there and looking around at the purple, painted walls, the lacy white curtains, and the desk in the corner with her computer and her DVD collection.  The big TV mounted on her wall was now covered in a couple of days’ worth of dust, and Carol sighed, turning to Daryl.  The best memories she had in that room were of watching movies with Daryl.  It never quite felt the same when he wasn’t there.

“Takin’ the TV?”

“What would we do with it?” Carol asked.

“Sell it?”

“No.  It’s not worth it.  Leave it.  His new family can fight over my movie collection.”

“Fuck them,” Daryl snorted.  “They’re probably a bunch of assholes.”

“Well, they’ll fit right in here, then.”  Carol pulled her dusty suitcase out from under her bed, and she opened it up.  She grabbed some undergarments and tossed them in when Daryl’s back was turned.  She grabbed about a dozen pair of socks.  She grabbed her three favorite pairs of shoes.  A pair of sneakers she’d bought last week that were so comfortable she might have been wearing clouds on her feet.  A pair of heels that didn’t make her feet feel like she was walking tiptoe on an iron rope, and a pair of flats. 

“You want this?”  Carol turned to see Daryl holding up the little black dress she’d bought just a month ago.  He held it up by the spaghetti straps, and Carol blushed.

“No.”  Her answer was quiet and short, and she turned away.

“Why not?  I remember you had your eye on it every time we walked past it at the mall.”

“I just don’t.”  Daryl eyed her from behind for a moment before tossing it toward the bed. 

“Might come in handy at a job interview.”

“This isn’t appropriate for a job interview,” she laughed.

“Well, ya might need it anyhow.”

“Just admit it.  You’re dying to see me in it,” she teased.  Daryl swallowed for a moment, letting that very truth sink in, before he blushed and turned away.

“Stop.”  He turned back toward her closet, and Carol took the dress in her hands, remembering back to the day she’d bought it. 

They’d gone to the mall after school, because Carol had wanted to get Daryl something special to celebrate his eighteenth birthday.  His birthday had come and gone, but she hadn’t found the perfect gift, so she’d decided to take him to pick out whatever he wanted.  He’d protested all the way through the mall until he set his eyes on a leather jacket that was marked down eighty percent in a going out of business sale.  Carol had purchased it for him, and though it’d cost her barely anything, he hated the idea of her spending money on him, and she knew it. 

She found a dress for herself in that sale, so at least he might not feel so guilty about her buying him something, even though it was a birthday gift.  Though a little black dress was never really part of her wardrobe, she liked the idea of it.  She was an adult now, and she was getting ready to move out in the world, and maybe, just maybe she would get up the courage to invite him over and surprise him by wearing it. 

It had been a fantasy, and the second she’d got the dress home, she’d been utterly embarrassed with herself and pushed it to the very back of her closet.   

With a sigh, Carol folded up the dress and stuffed it into her suitcase.  Maybe one day she’d find use for it.  Someday, she’d have her life together, she’d settle somewhere that would make her happy and she could start putting up the framework for the rest of her life.  Maybe someday, years from now, she could pull out that classic little black dress, go out for a night on the town and make some bad choices.  She could learn from those choices.  She could live.  She could do something other than be the model daughter for a father that didn’t even give a shit.  She felt a little better knowing this journey she was about to take with Daryl was a step in that direction. 

She grabbed a few other items of clothing and then made a grab for her laptop and charging cable.   Once her photo album was safely packed away, she reached into her jewelry box and picked out a dainty silver chain with a stunning silver flower pendant with a diamond in the middle.

“I never seen that before,” Daryl murmured.

“It was my mother’s.”  She looked to him.  “I used to be obsessed with it.  I’d stare at it hanging on the jewelry tree in their room, and he gave it to me for my sixth birthday.  It was one of the only things he ever did that showed he actually cared anything for me.”  She shook her head.  “Daryl?”

“Yeah?”

“How can you miss someone you never even knew?”   He saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes, and he took a step toward her. 

“Don’t know, but she was your mom.  I get it.  Miss mine, too, even though she up and left without even sayin’ goodbye.”  Carol sniffled then, and Daryl reached out, taking the necklace and unclasping it.  “Here.  Turn around.”  She did as he asked and pulled her hair up.  He gently put the chain around her neck, clasping it into place before she let her hair back down.

“I’m gonna miss him, too,” Carol admitted quietly.

“What?”

“That’s what’s messed up,” she choked out, turning to face him, wiping at her eyes.  “He doesn’t want me around, and when I’m gone, he probably won’t even try to contact me.  But I already miss him, because he’s the only parent I’ve ever known.  And he doesn’t want me around, Daryl.”  Her lower lip trembled, and Daryl went to her, wrapping one arm around her while the other gently cradled the back of her head.  Her body shook as she cried in his arms, and he stroked the back of her hair, pulling her closer, resting his mouth against her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her, wishing there was something he could do to make this all easier on her. 

“It’s gonna be ok,” he promised.  “Hey.  Look at me.”  He gently pushed back on her shoulders, keeping his hands on her as he searched for her gaze.  Finally, she met his gaze, and he gave her a little smile.  “We got each other, right?”

“Right,” she murmured, wiping at her eyes. 

“It’s always been that way.”  He gently brushed her hair back with his fingers, and she smiled.

“Always will be,” she offered with a little shrug and a smile.  “Thank you.”  She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, and he held her close again, warming at her touch, relaxing as he felt her calming in his arms. 

“C’mon,” he urged, giving her a squeeze.  “Let’s finish her and get the hell out.  Whaddya say?”

“Yeah.  I like that idea,” she sniffled.  “Let’s do it.”  She turned then, hurrying about the room and grabbing small things she needed or wanted to keep, and within ten minutes, they were back in the car.  As she backed out of the drive and started down the street, she did not let herself look in the mirror.  She did not let herself look back on a half-empty life where she never fit and never belonged.  Instead, she looked to Daryl, who looked at her, and she knew, wherever they were together, they would be home.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The last day of school might as well have been used as a senior skip day.  Half of the graduating class didn’t show, and Carol made her way through her classes carrying nothing on her but her car keys.  During the two classes she had with Daryl, they spent their time in the back of the class planning their road trip, while everyone else grouped up to talk or to watch the movie the teacher had put on.

Carol had noticed Tobin staring at her in homeroom, and while she’d gently declined his offers with a polite text, she couldn’t help but notice that he looked like he had something more he wanted to say to her.  She didn’t have anything against the guy.  He was perfectly nice, and maybe in some alternate dimension maybe she’d have given him a chance, but she simply didn’t have feelings for him.  She couldn’t when those feelings had long had Daryl Dixon’s name etched into them like a brand.  She had no attraction to Tobin, and she couldn’t for the life of her see why he’d been hung up on her for the better part of the last semester.  She barely spoke to him.  She kept to herself, and she was almost always exclusively with Daryl when she wasn’t alone.

After the last bell rang, Daryl had gone down the hall and around the corner to clean out his locker, while Carol went to do the same, pulling old papers out and tossing them into the bin.  She cleaned out her book bag, pulling out old folders and notebooks, and it wasn’t long before she caught a whiff of the cologne that Tobin always wore just a little too much of.  She found it sort of amazing that since junior high, nobody had mentioned to him how less was more.

“Hey, Carol.”

“Hi, Tobin.”  She turned to face him with a smile, and he stood there, awkwardly staring down at her with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“So you’re really not going to Andrea’s party?”

“I’m not much in the partying mood.”

“But it’s the last time some of us are going to see each other, you know?”

“I know,” Carol offered with raised eyebrows.  “Tobin, thank you for the invite, but I’m really not interested in going.  I’m leaving town after graduation.”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah.  I’m not coming back.”  Tobin furrowed his brows, shuffling his feet for a moment.

“Not coming back?  Why not?”

“There isn’t anything for me here.”

“I told you I could get you on at the store.”

“And I appreciate that,” Carol urged.  “But if I don’t get out now, I might never get out.”

“Oh.  I…I understand.”  He nodded his head briefly, but the look on his face showed he was still trying to wrap his head around the concept.  “I just wanted you to know, asking you to Andrea’s was sort of a big step for me.”

“Oh.”

“I’ve been wanting to ask you out since the start of the semester.  I just didn’t have the courage.”  He cleared his throat and looked down the hall before looking back at her.  “It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Who?”

“Daryl.  You love him.”

“Tobin…”

“I mean, you’re always together, but you’re not exactly a couple.  Or are you a couple, and…?  Maybe you’re just not telling people?”

“Tobin, I don’t think that’s…”  She hitched her bag over her shoulder and closed her empty locker for the last time.  “I’m flattered.  But I’m sorry.  I don’t think about you like that.  And I’m leaving.  I have to go.”  His shoulders slumped, and she felt bad for him.  “Tobin, I’m sorry.  I hope everything works out for you here.”

“And I hope you find what you’re looking for out there, wherever it is you end up.”  Carol turned her gaze down the hall to see Daryl walking toward her, and she turned back to Tobin with a little smile. 

“Me too.  See you at graduation, Tobin.”

*~*~*~*~*

“You’re quiet.”  Daryl glanced over at Carol, who was gripping the steering wheel tightly and staring straight ahead.  “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What’d Tobin say to you?  I need to kick his ass?”

“No,” she grinned.  “He’s innocent enough.  He pretty much just confessed what I knew all along.  He told me he’s wanted to ask me out all semester.”  She glanced at Daryl who flinched. 

“What’d you say?”

“I told him I’m flattered, but I don’t feel the same way about him.”  She shrugged.  “Well, it’s the nicest offer I’ve had all year, anyway.”  She took notice of the way Daryl slid down in his seat a bit.  “Ed wasn’t exactly a gentleman when he propositioned me, and one of the basketball players only had one thing on his mind, and it wasn’t dinner or a movie.” 

“Who the hell was it?” Daryl asked, snapping his gaze toward her again.

“It doesn’t matter, Daryl.”

“I’ll kick his ass.  Who was it?”

“Daryl,” Carol snorted, “it’s over and done.”

“It’s over?  It’s done?” he asked.  “So what’d you do?  What’d he do?”

“Oh my God, if you don’t calm down…”  She knew he wasn’t going to let this one go.  “It was Shane, ok?”

“Shane?  What’d that walking steroid want?  Oh, I know what he wanted.”  Carol knew when Daryl was pissed, and he was pissed. 

“Daryl, why are you so upset?  I’m fine.  We got to the movies, and…”

“You actually went out with him?  You…”

“We went to dinner, too.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about it?”

“I didn’t think you cared,” Carol murmured, pulling into Daryl’s driveway and putting the car in park. 

“He’s an asshole.  I’ve heard a couple girls say how he treated ‘em, and…”

“Yeah, I know.  _Trust_ me.  I know.”  Daryl’s face flushed red. 

“You know?  What do you know?”  Carol sighed, cutting the engine and taking off her seat belt.  She turned to face Daryl. 

“I know he was an arrogant jerk who did nothing but talk about himself, and then when he told me we were going to the movies, he insisted on sitting in the back.  When the lights went down he…”

“He what?”

“Do you really want to hear this?” she asked, squinting her eyes at him, as she watched the redness in his face go almost purple.  “Because you seem like you’re in pain.”

“What the hell, Carol? Fucking Shane?”

“Actually, I didn’t,” she teased.  He didn’t find that funny.  “He was very handsy.  I poured my popcorn in his lap and walked home.  I was kind of surprised he didn’t say anything at school that next Monday.  He avoided me at all costs.  I think he actually hid in the bathroom at one point.”  She shrugged.

“And you didn’t tell me about it?”

“What was there to tell, Daryl?  Nothing happened?  He was a jerk, and I walked away.  I don’t need you beating the hell out of every guy that tries to steal a kiss.  I don’t want to end up alone with six cats and a couple of parakeets.”  Daryl snorted at that.  “Besides, I’m never going to see him again after graduation, so I don’t see why you’re getting so riled up about this.”  

“Sorry,” Daryl muttered, grabbing his bag from the backseat. 

“It’s ok.  You’re just looking out for me.  Think how you would’ve felt if I’d freaked out like that about Karen when you guys went out.”

“Karen?”

“Yeah.  You guys went out for like two months last year.”  Daryl blushed.  “Didn’t you?”

“No,” he grumbled.  “We went to the movies once, and we kissed in the car, and it was awkward and weird, and I think the only reason she kept saying she was my girlfriend was because she wanted to look cool in front of her friends.  I mean, we hung out, but it wasn’t that serious.”  Carol’s jaw dropped.

“You didn’t tell me?”

“You didn’t tell me about Shane.”

“But you called her your girlfriend.”

“I dunno.  Guess I was embarrassed.”  His face was a nice shade of pink now.  “She was pretty, and her friends thought I was cute, but damn, we didn’t even kiss again after that first time.” 

“I thought…”

“Thought what?”

“Karen told all the girls you guys were sleeping together.”  Daryl’s face turned even redder.  “She got pretty graphic, Daryl.”

“You serious?”

“Yeah.  I mean, graphic.”  Daryl put his hand over his face for a moment and groaned.

“We didn’t,” he insisted.  “It was that one kiss.”

“Well, all the girls were whispering about you.”  It was true.  And she hadn’t wanted to listen to any of it, because frankly, hearing Karen talk about Daryl like that had been gut-wrenching, because the thought of him with some other girl, doing things that Carol wasn’t proud to say she’d thought a hell of a lot about, was one of the most painful things imaginable back then.

They’d been best friends for so long, that she would have thought he’d have talked to his best friend about a step as huge as sex.  And to make matters worse, she’d felt so jealous, so hurt that she’d thought about saying yes to Peletier, just to get it over with and say she’d had sex, too.  But in the end, she’d thought about how much she loved Daryl and couldn’t go through with it.

“Wow,” she murmured.  “I honestly thought…”

“You believed it?”

“Well, why wouldn’t I?  You guys were a thing as far as I knew.”

“I spent most of my time with you.  When do you think I woulda had the time to go get laid?”

“So you’re…you’re a virgin then?’

“Didn’t say that,” he blushed.  “No, ‘course not.”

“You’re such a shitty liar,” she laughed. 

“Well, sorry if I ain’t Casanova or some shit.”

“No, I’m actually kind of relieved,” Carol chuckled.  “I was starting to think it was just me.”  Daryl froze, and he eyed her. 

“What?”

“Yeah.”  She blushed, grabbing her bag from the back.  “It’s not something I go around telling everybody.”

“I thought…”

“Thought what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Just thought…nevermind.  Don’t matter.”

“What?”

“Last year, the fall dance.  You and that weird kid that transferred from Decatur.”

“Who?  Axel?”

“Yeah.  You guys disappeared for an hour.  Somebody said they saw you in the bathroom, and…well, I punched ‘em for sayin’ it, but…I just thought maybe…”

“Oh my God, no!” she laughed.  “Oh God.”  She got out of the car, and he followed suit, and they headed into the house as Carol tried to catch her breath from laughing so hard.  “No.  I was tutoring him in Literature class.  He was so behind, and he had a paper due that next morning.  So we went off, and I explained a story to him while he took notes.  That’s it.  Oh God.  People thought…”

“Well, the rumor ended pretty fast.  When I punched that asshole for sayin’ it to my face, everybody else kinda got quiet.”

“Is that…is that why Pete Anderson went around with two black eyes for a month last year?”  Daryl smirked, and Carol covered her mouth.  “Oh my God.  I had no idea.”

“Wasn’t gonna let him talk shit about ya.”

“Even if you believed it?” Carol asked.

“Don’t matter now, I guess.  We both thought the wrong thing, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Carol murmured, eyebrows raised.  “Well, I think we’ve both learned something today.”

“Yeah,” Daryl snorted. “Never get fresh with you in a movie theater.”  Carol laughed then, but as they stepped into the living room, the laughter stopped.  Daryl was the first to see him, sitting there with his feet propped up on the coffee table. 

Merle Dixon looked up at them with a shit-eating grin on his face, and he took a swig from the whiskey bottle in his hand.

“Hey baby brother,” he said with a nod.  “Hope I didn’t interrupt.  Don’t mind me.  Just turn the radio on up and have at it.  I ain’t gonna judge.”

“Fuck you,” Daryl bit out, face red as he moved across the living room.  “Where the hell you been?”

“With Lydia.”

“Who the hell’s Lydia?”  Merle wiggled his eyebrows, and Daryl rolled his eyes.  “Don’t answer that.  Don’t wanna know.  How long you here for?  An hour? A day?”

“Hell, I figured I should come home and see if the old man’s been bailed out yet.”

“Unless you’re bailin’ him out, then no.  He can sit his ass in jail for all I care.”

“Where’s the stash Pop left us?”

“Gone.  Spent it on groceries,” Daryl lied.  Merle eyed him and then Carol.

“Spot me a fifty?”

“So you can get your next fix?  No,” Daryl growled.

“How about you, Princess?” Merle asked.  “Why don’t you ask Daddy for a pocketful of gold?”

“Go to hell, Merle,” Carol muttered, getting a laugh out of Daryl’s older brother.  His phone chimed, and he looked at it. 

“Oh, my lady awaits.”

“Ask Lydia if she can  spot you some money,” Daryl muttered.

“Lydia?  Oh, my baby brother’s so young.  So naïve.  You gotta earn that Dixon name, son.”  Merle winked at Carol.  “My baby brother’s still wet behind the ears.  Probably is, that’s the only thing he’s gettin’ wet.”  He winked, and Carol groaned, making a face.  “Bro, do me a favor.  Lydia calls, tell her I’m at Angie’s.”

“You want me to tell her you’re fuckin’ someone else?”

“She knows,” Merle snorted.  “She knows.”  He grabbed his keys off the coffee table and put the half-empty bottle down.  “Don’t worry.  You two got the place to yourselves.  M’stayin’ at Angie’s tonight.”  He patted Daryl on the back and headed out.  Daryl shook his head and turned to Carol.

“Sorry ‘bout him.”

“Why are you apologizing?  Nothing that comes out of his mouth surprises me anymore.”  She shook her head.  “You hungry?”  He shook his head, watching her brush off the encounter that would probably leave most girls gasping in shock.  She never seemed to let Merle get to her, and he was pretty sure she was the only girl he knew that could shut Merle up with a look or a line of her own sass.  She was good.  She could take care of herself, and he knew that.  It was one of the many things he loved about her, and as Carol pulled open the fridge and stood there looking to see what they had to throw together for supper, he wondered how he’d gotten so lucky to have her in his life.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“I’m sorry, Daryl,” Carol murmured softly, standing outside the auditorium with Daryl as happy graduates embraced their proud parents.  Daryl shrugged, pulling off his cap and trying not to let the fact that Merle hadn’t even bothered to show up for his graduation bother him.  He hadn’t exactly expected a party in his honor or anything, but Daryl Dixon was the first Dixon in three generations to complete high school, so he figured he had a right to feel pretty proud of that.  Still, Merle hadn’t shown. 

“Ain’t no big deal,” he muttered.  “Sorry your dad didn’t show either.”  Carol rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I doubt he’s even figured out I haven’t come home all week.  I’m not exactly on his radar, you know?”

“Don’t know ‘bout you, but I’m ready to get the hell outta here.”

“Yeah,” Carol replied with a grin.  “Me too.”  They turned to walk out of the high school for the last time, only to be stopped by a perky, smiling Andrea Harrison.

“Hey, guys!  We did it!”

“Yeah,” Carol murmured, eyeing Daryl.  Andrea had barely said much to them at all in the last couple of years of high school.  They all used to be friendly, but something changed sophomore year, and they barely ever saw her. 

“Tobin says you’re not coming to my party tonight.  Why not?”

“Honestly?” Carol asked.  “We’re leaving town.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah.  We’re already packed and ready to go.”  Andrea looked from Carol to Daryl and then she smiled.

“Oh my God, congratulations, you two!”

“What?” Daryl asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Oh, sorry.  Am I not supposed to say anything?  You guys are running off to get married, right?”

“What?” Carol asked, feeling her face flushing as she glanced at Daryl.  “Andrea, we’re not…no.  No, we’re not.  We’re just leaving.  Neither of us wants to be stuck in this place for the rest of our lives.”  She looked to Daryl, who looked increasingly uncomfortable.  “We’re not together.”  She watched Daryl rub the back of his neck anxiously, and Andrea’s eyes widened.

“Oh God.  Sorry.  I know we haven’t been close these past couple of years.  I guess a lot of people sort of thought you guys were a thing.  I mean, Tobin was hoping you weren’t, because he has a thing for you, but I mean, you spend all your time together.  People just assumed.”  She smiled.  Carol couldn’t look at Daryl any longer.  She knew she was blushing, but he looked like he was about to crawl out of his skin.  Obviously, people were going to talk and they were going to assume.  It was a small town, and that’s just what people did.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with him.  She did.  But it just wasn’t the way things were.  And for people to have assumed those things about them made her heart break a little.

“It’s ok,” Carol assured Andrea.  “Thank you for the invite.”

“Why don’t you come?  Can’t it wait one more day?”

“No,” Daryl snapped.  “It can’t.”  

“Well,” Andrea said with a little shrug, “if you change your mind, you’re both welcome.”

“Thank you,” Carol said with a little smile, glancing at Daryl.  “But we’ve been planning this.  We really have to get going.” Andrea gave them both quick hugs and hurried off to see some of her other friends, leaving Carol and Daryl standing at the doors staring at each other.

“You wanna go?” Daryl asked.  Carol made a face.

“No.  Of course not.” 

“Alright.  Let’s go.”  His voice was gruff, and Carol reached out, touching his arm.

“Hey.  Are you ok?  Was it what Andrea said?  Don’t worry about what people think.”  Daryl flinched and took a step toward the door.

“It ain’t that,” he mumbled.  “Just wanna get outta here.”

“Ok,” Carol murmured.  “You want to stop back by your place one more time to see if Merle’s there?”  Daryl shook his head.  “Daryl.”

“You wanna stop by and see if your dad’s home?” he shot back.

“No, but that’s different.  My dad checked out a long time ago.  Merle’s still your brother, even if he is an asshole.”  Her eyes brightened.  “Besides, I forgot my phone charger, so I need to go back.”  He narrowed his eyes at her.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“No,” she smiled.

“We can pick up another charger.”

“Oh, come on, Daryl.  You should at least say goodbye.”  She took his hand and started pulling him toward the door.  He sighed and followed after. 

“Fine, but when he ain’t there, I get to say ‘I told ya so.’”

*~*~*~*

Daryl was quiet on the drive home.  Carol relaxed in the passenger’s seat, and he focused on the road.  All he could think about was how Andrea had assumed they were together and how quickly Carol had shut that down. 

He wasn’t angry.  He wasn’t upset.  He was just stuck, feeling like this feeling that had been building up inside of him for so long was destined to forever remain concealed, because he had never been able to get up the courage to tell her how he felt.  And maybe she was so quick to dismiss Andrea’s assumptions because the idea of the two of them together was just too embarrassing for her.

He glanced at her, watching the way the wind whipped at her hair, the way the sun kissed her freckled collarbones, the way a little smile tugged at her lips in the silence.  But when she turned to look at him, he immediately looked away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you mad because we’re going back to your place?”

“Ain’t my place anymore.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No,” he insisted.  “I’m ready to get the hell outta here.  Was hopin’ to make it outta Georgia by tonight.”

“We can.  We can take turns driving every couple hours.”  She turned down the street where the Dixon home was.  “But will you promise me you’ll talk to me if something’s wrong?  We’ve been best friends for a long time.  I know something’s going on.”

“Just nervous, I guess,” he lied, chewing at the cuticle on his thumb.  She knew he was lying, but she didn’t press it.  She sighed softly and nodded toward his home.

“Look.”  Merle’s bike was in the drive.  She opened up the glove box, and feigned surprise when she found her charging cable. “Oh.  Look at that.  I must have grabbed it on the way out the door.”

“You dick,” he snorted.  Carol laughed then, and she batted her eyelashes at him. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  She pulled into the drive.  “But since we’re here, you might as well go in and say goodbye.”  Daryl glared at her for a moment, and she just smiled a little wider.  “Just ask yourself this?  In thirty years, will you be able to look back and say you were ok with not saying goodbye?”  Daryl took a deep breath and cocked his head to the side.

“Will you be able to look back in thirty years and be ok with not sayin’ goodbye to your dad?”

“I don’t know,” Carol offered with a little shrug.  “I’m not sure what would be more painful, to be honest: not saying goodbye or saying goodbye and knowing he doesn’t even care.”  Daryl reached over and put his hand on hers. 

“Sorry you got stuck with a shitty dad.”

“Sorry you got stuck with a shitty dad _and_ brother.”

“Shit happens, right?” Daryl murmured.  “Maybe everything would’ve been different if our moms were still around.”

“Yeah.  Maybe.”  She gave him a little smile.  “Go on.”  Daryl nodded then, and Carol gave his hand a squeeze.  “I’ll be here, picking out my music selections for the next two hours.”  Daryl groaned, and Carol grinned, giving him a little push.  “You’ll thank me.”  He sighed and got out of the car, heading up the path to the house.  He could hear music blasting the second he opened the screen door. 

He pushed it open to find Merle sitting on the couch with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other.

“Hey, baby bro.  Where you been?  Why are you dressed like ya just been to a damn funeral?”  He looked around.  “Somebody die?  I miss somethin’?”

“I graduated high school today, asshole,” Daryl muttered, turning off the stereo.

“That was today?” Merle asked, glancing at the clock.  “Shit, bro.  I’m sorry.  I was out late last night.”

“Yeah, you weren’t home three hours ago.  You been to sleep yet?  It’s almost three.”

“Was just gettin’ ready to.”  Daryl nodded.  “You want a pizza?  I can order one, or…”

“I ain’t stayin’.”

“Oh.  Guess you got some partyin’ to do.  Just be safe, bro.”

“I ain’t goin’ out.  Merle, I…I ain’t comin’ back.”  Daryl shifted his weight as he stared at Merle over on the couch.  “Just came to tell you that.”

“What you mean you ain’t comin’ back?”

“Meant just what I said.  Me and Carol, we’re leavin’ town.  Neither one of us wants to get stuck here the rest of our lives.  Ain’t nothin’ here for us.”  He watched Merle’s face fall.

“You mean you’re just goin’?  Like that?”

“What’s it to you, anyway?  You ain’t never here.”

“Where’s it look like I am right now?”

“Merle, I ain’t fightin’ with you.  Just tellin’ you I’m leavin’.”

“Well, where the hell you think you’re gonna go?”

“Don’t know yet,” Daryl offered with a shrug.

“You got money?”

“I got some,” he murmured.

“This has got to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, baby brother.  And you’re the one s’posed to be smart.”  Merle laughed, and Daryl felt the anger boiling in his veins.  “Shit.  Wait ‘til Pop gets home.”

“I ain’t gonna be here, and I don’t care what he says.”

“Like shit you don’t.  You’re bailin’ now so you don’t gotta face him.”

“He ain’t never here.  All he’s ever done for us is leave us some cash and let us fend for ourselves.  What the hell you expect me to do?  All I ever done was take care of myself, so that’s what I’m gonna keep on doin’.”  Merle got up from the couch and crossed the room, nearly tripping over the coffee table.  Daryl felt the urge to take a step back, but he didn’t.   “Go on.  Do whatever you want.  I’m still leavin’.”  Merle put his hand on his brother’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“Proud of you, bro.”

“Thought you said this was dumb what I’m doin’.”

“It is,” Merle laughed.  “But ain’t nobody gonna get nowhere in life if they don’t take a few stupid risks now and then.  Hell, I was just breakin’ your balls.  You gonna be alright out there?”

“Gonna be fine,” Daryl promised. 

“That girl’s goin’ with ya?”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna take care of her?”

“She can take care of herself, but I ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to her, if that’s what you’re askin’.”  Merle nodded.  He cleared his throat and dug into his pocket, pulling out a wad of cash.  “Should I even ask where ya got that?”

“You don’t wanna know,” Merle muttered with a shake of his head.  “Take this.”  He gave him half the wad.”

“What?”

“Take it.  There’s more where that came from.”

“Merle…”

“All I’m gonna use it on is more pills and booze.  Just take it.  If it helps you get a little farther from this goddamned place, then that’s for the better, I guess.”

“You don’t gotta give me no money.  I got my own.”

“Think of it as a graduation present,” Merle chuckled.  “Take it.”  Daryl sighed, letting Merle slip the cash into his hands.  “Now you be smart.  I know you say you two are just friends, but I know you.  You’re my brother, and I know you think the sun shine’s outta her ass.”  Daryl’s face flushed, and Merle laughed.  “Don’t hurt her.  She’s gotta be a damned good friend to be goin’ off into the world with the likes of you.  So don’t hurt her.  Take it from me.  A good girl like that’s one to hold onto.  You need anything, you call me.  Don’t care where you are, just call.  I know I’ve been a shitty brother, and I ain’t even tried to fill Pop’s shoes, but you call me.”

“Alright.  I’ll call,” Daryl offered with a nod.  He swallowed the lump in his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I know dad taught us how to hunt and he taught us how to fight, so you’ll be ok.  You’re the smart one.  You’re gonna be just fine.”  He clapped his brother on the shoulder and gave him a strong thump on the back.  “Proud of you, bro.  Now get the hell outta here, and don’t come back.” 

Daryl nodded then, shaking his brother’ s hand, and as he walked out the door for the last time, he didn’t look back.  He climbed into Carol’s car and turned the key in the ignition.  He could practically hear the question on her lips without her even saying a word.  Her eyebrows rose, and he gave her a little nod.

“Thanks,” he murmured.  She smiled and pulled her seat belt back on. 

“Come on, Daryl.  Let’s get out of here.”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

They had been unfortunate enough to hit rush hour when they hit I-85 South, and by the time they crossed the state line and got a ways into Alabama, Carol’s stomach was starting to growl, and Daryl was beginning to get weary. 

“We should stop,” Carol offered, as they pulled off on an exit in Montgomery. 

“I can drive a bit longer,” Daryl insisted.

“Yeah, but we don’t want to be tired and worn out when we head back out tomorrow.”  Daryl nodded in agreement.  “Let’s find a hotel and get a couple of rooms, and we can hang out in the pool and just relax.”

“Alright.  Wanna stop and get a bite to eat?”

“Of course,” she laughed.  Daryl grinned, and they started toward downtown, looking for reasonably priced places to stay or to eat.  As they drove, Carol caught sight of signs pointing to the river front.  Daryl could see the excitement in Carol’s eyes as they drove through the big city, and he ended up pulling over at a park near the river.  He parked and they got out to stretch their legs.

“Damn, my back was startin’ to hurt,” Daryl muttered, rubbing the sore spot on his lower back.

“We haven’t been driving _that_ long,” she teased.  She caught sight of a little hot dog stand in the middle of the park, and her mouth started watering.  “Ok, _now_ I’m starving.  You just want to eat here?”  Daryl agreed, and they headed over to see what overpriced food items the vendor had.  They had burgers, fries, onion rings, hot dogs, various fried oddities like candy bars and pickles, and they had elephant ears.  Carol settled on a hot dog and an elephant ear, while Daryl got a burger and an order of deep-fried pickles.  They sat at a picnic table, and Carol grimaced as Daryl tried the pickles.  “How can you eat that?”

“What?  S’good.”

“If you say so,” she snorted.

“Try one.”

“No!”

“Why?  Afraid you’ll like it?”  he asked, waggling his eyebrows at her.  She rolled her eyes. 

“Fine.  Give me one.”  Daryl passed her the deep-fried, battered pickle, and she popped it into her mouth, chewing slowly until her eyes widened.  “Well?”

“That’s actually…pretty good.” 

“Told you,” Daryl remarked with a shrug, popping another one into his mouth.  Carol laughed and took a bite of her elephant ear, moaning at the sweet taste.

“I haven’t had one of these since I was little.  I used to go to the fair with Andrea and her family, and her dad would buy us each an elephant ear.”

“I remember that.  I was standin’ in line for the Scrambler, and you threw up as soon as you got off the ride.”

“Oh, yeah,” Carol groaned.  “I remember that.  I don’t remember you being there, though.”

“I was there.  I was too chicken to ride it, and Merle was givin’ me a hard time.  He got me on it though.”

“And?”

“I threw up, too.”

“Oh, poor baby,” Carol pouted.  “I never rode the Scrambler again.”

“Me neither,” he snorted.   “Though, remember our class trip to Six Flags?”

“How can I forget?  You made me ride that rollercoaster.”

“I made you ride it?” Daryl asked.  “Uh, who ate four bags of cotton candy and then said ‘oh, Daryl, let’s ride it!  It’ll be fun!’”  His voice had gone high-pitched in a failed attempt to mimic her.

“I did not, and I don’t sound like that!” she laughed, tossing a piece of elephant ear at him.  He grabbed it before it fell to the ground and popped it in his mouth. 

“Want to walk down by the river?” he asked, finishing off the rest of his food.  Carol looked out over the water, smiling as the sun began to settle in the western sky.

“That sounds nice,” she said with a nod, taking the last bite of her own food.  “I’m getting a little tired.  Maybe we can find a place to stay after?”

“Yeah.  Figured we’d put some miles in tomorrow.”

“North, South, East or West?” she asked with a small hum.

“Keep goin’ West a ways, I guess.  That ok?”

“Yeah.  That’s fine,” she said with a shrug.

“You got any regrets yet?” he asked, as they headed down toward the walking path by the river.  She shrugged and shook her head.

“No.  Being out here, being away from there is sort of freeing.  Do I wish things had been different?  Yeah, I mean, I wish I had a dad that gave a shit, but this is reality, and I’m not going to linger on the what ifs.”  She glanced at him.  “What about you?”

“Glad I saw Merle before I left.  Feel a little guilty leavin’, ‘cause I know he ain’t never gonna get his life together.  Dad’ll come home, things’ll be ok for a while, and then he’ll fuck it all up again.  That’s how it always goes.”

“Even more reason you needed to get away from that place.  I know you love your dad and your brother but…”

“They ain’t good for me.  Yeah, you told me a that a few times.”

“I didn’t mean to…I mean, I hope I wasn’t crossing a line.  I just know that you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and to see you stuck living like that…it wasn’t any kind of life.”  Daryl gently nudged her shoulder.  It was a thing they did.  They said things to one another, and sometimes maybe they weren’t the things the other wanted to hear, but they knew one another well enough to know that they only wanted good things for each other.  Had anybody else spoken that way about his family, he probably would have laid them out flat, but Carol knew.  She knew what he grew up with, and she knew he struggled every day with trying to be what his brother and father weren’t.  He was nothing like them.  Still, he struggled.  She sniffled.  “And everybody thought I had it so good.  I had it better than others.  I had a roof over my head and food to eat, but that didn’t make up for what I didn’t have.  I wish I could remember my mom.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“But no more what ifs, right?” Daryl asked.

“Right,” she whispered, giving him a small smile.  “Come on.  Let’s go.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

By the time they got back to the car and started driving around, they were hard pressed to find any hotels that weren’t extremely expensive or out of vacancies.  They finally found a place just on the outskirts of the city.  It looked decent, and the prices were just in their range of affordability.  There was only one vacancy left, however, but at least it had two beds.  They were both too tired to argue, so when they stepped into the small room and looked around, they looked at each other and laughed.

“Well, this is depressing,” Daryl snorted, tossing a bag onto the bed closest to the door to claim it.

“Why do you get that door?” Carol asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“It’s by the air conditioner.  These rooms get cold at night.  ‘Sides, if anybody tries to break in, they’ll get to me first.”

“Oh God,” she snorted.  “Here I thought it was just you being a guy and claiming your territory.  Nope, it’s just you being a considerate guy.”  She nudged him, and he snorted, sprawling out on the bed as Carol tossed her things onto her bed.

“You want the shower first?” he asked.

“No, I think I want to go for a swim,” she hummed.  “They have a heated pool.  Not bad for 49.95 plus tax per night.  You want to swim?”

“Actually, I think I’ll skip it tonight.  I’ll get a shower and find somethin’ on the TV.  By the time you get back, the water should be warm again.”

“Ok,” she said with a bright smile, tucking into her bag and pulling out what had to be the skimpiest bikini he’d ever seen.  He averted his eyes and quickly turned to look through his own bag, finding his boxers and some sweat pants to wear. 

Carol pulled out the hair tie that kept her hair up, and her dark-auburn curls bounced and sways as she shook her head.  She laughed, looking at herself in the mirror, feeling like one of those women in the silly shampoo commercials.  It felt good to let her hair down after the day’s events, though she could still feel the crunch of the hairspray she’d used before graduation.

“I’m gonna change really quick, ok?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, turning on the TV and the air conditioner as she slipped into the bathroom to change.  He sat on the edge of his bed, focused on changing the channel and trying not to think about her changing into that slinky purple bikini, but the longer she was in there, the more he thought about her stripping down to nothing and slipping that bikini on.  He’d seen her in a bathing suit dozens of times, mostly when they were twelve and thirteen and at friends’ pool parties, but that had been before his feelings for her had really changed, and now his pulse was racing just thinking about her. 

“Shit,” he grumbled, as the bathroom door opened.  He almost looked away, but then he realized she’d wrapped a towel around herself, and all he could see were her slender legs and her freckled collarbones.  She gave him a smile and slipped on some flip flops.  She grabbed her room key and started for the door.  “Hey, you uh, you ok goin’ alone?”

“I’m fine.  I saw a family splashing around in there.  There’re cameras everywhere.  I think I’m good.  I won’t be long.  I just want to cool off a little.”

“Sure,” Daryl nodded, feeling his throat go dry.  “Alright.  I’ll just, uh, be in the shower.”

“Ok,” she smiled.  “See you later.”  She left then, and he groaned, retreating to the bathroom and peeling off his clothes.  He started the shower, letting the water heat up, and he locked the bathroom door.  He was half-hard from thinking about her in that bikini, and even though he hadn’t gotten the full view, his mind was doing its very best to fill in the blanks for him.

He took his time in the shower, desperately trying to relieve the tension in his body, and by the time he was finished, the water was beginning to run cool.  He made sure he cleaned up the shower just in case, because the last thing he wanted was for her to realize what exactly he’d been doing in there. 

He felt guilty but far less tense now, and after he toweled off and slipped into his boxers and his sweat pants, he tugged a white tank top over his head and slipped out into the room.  It was cold now, and he quickly cut off the AC before collapsing on his bed, propping himself up to watch television. 

It wasn’t long before Carol returned, soaking wet with her towel wrapped around her.  He expected her to just walk right to the bathroom, but instead, she tore the towel off of her body and placed it on the floor to stand on as she dripped pool water onto it.  His throat nearly closed up.  Her damp skin was covered in goose bumps as rivulets of water cascaded down her chest and over her taut belly.  Her nipples pebbled under the fabric of her bikini top, and he couldn’t look away.  Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh God, it’s cold,” she shivered.  Daryl immediately felt that guilt again, because he was certain the water probably wasn’t hot enough yet.  “How was the shower?”

“Good,” he choked out.  “Uh, water runs cool fast.”

“Shit,” she huffed.  “I’m freezing.”

“Here.  Uh, here’s a dry towel.”  He got up and grabbed it off the counter, tossing it to her.  She smiled and rubbed it over her hair before wrapping it around herself.  The room began to warm as the sun filtered in through the gap in the curtains.  “You want my jacket, or…”

“No, I’m fine.  I need soap and shampoo,” she chuckled.  “Even a lukewarm shower is better than nothing.”

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s ok,” she smiled.  “I’ll be out in a few, ok?”  Daryl nodded then, watching as she dropped that towel, showing off her amazing figure.  She bent over her bed briefly to grab some dry clothes, and then she shut herself in the bathroom and turned on the shower.  Daryl collapsed back onto his bed, rolling over to bury his face in his pillow.  It was going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank EmpressMcBride for her kind feedback. I appreciate each and every review! I do hope others are enjoying this story as well. Thanks for reading. :)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

She knew.  She stood there, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror with the towel wrapped around herself, and she knew.  She’d tried not to notice, but the way he carried himself, the way he shifted on the bed, he was hard, and looking at her had done that to him.  Of course, that didn’t mean love.  That basically meant he had eyes, was straight and was aroused by the female form.  It didn’t have to mean anything else.

Still, as she pulled the towel off of her freshly-washed body, she tugged on a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, noticing the way her nipples poked at the fabric.  She had to admit, a part of her wanted to see his reaction to seeing her in a bikini.  She’d been driving herself crazy thinking about him for a year, and she wasn’t proud of it, but she liked knowing what she’d done to him, that simply looking at her in a swimming suit had aroused him.

And she felt like such a shitty friend.  Still, that part of her that wanted more than friendship was ready to test the waters.  While losing him as a friend was not an option, she was certain she’d turn herself inside out wondering and hoping and waiting for him to make a move.  Maybe she was supposed to make the move.

When she stepped out of the bathroom and into the main part of the hotel room, she noticed he was now under the covers on his bed, despite the room being a little on the warm side.  She smiled a little, slipping into her bed and covering herself up to her stomach.  She glanced over at Daryl, who looked very focused on the TV screen. 

“Anything good on?”

“One of them crime shows.  Forensic something or other.”

“Oh, good.  I love these,” she mused, leaning back against her pillow.  “Just let me know when you’re ready to turn in.  I’m pretty sleepy after that swim.”

“A’right,” he muttered.  Carol bit her lip, glancing over to see that his hands were now flat against the bed on top of the covers, and she couldn’t help but notice how rigid his body was, how he was laying there like he was all wound up inside.

“You ok?” she asked, biting her lip.

“Mmmhmm, just tired,” he muttered, not looking at her.  She sighed, nodding her head.  She lay back, rolling onto her side and propping her head up to watch the show.  She didn’t hear a word being said.  All she could think about was how this was the first time they’d really spent the night in such close quarters together.  She could smell his body wash.  She could feel her heart thumping in her chest every time she looked over at him to see him so focused on not looking at her, like he was afraid of what might happen if he met her gaze.

She felt that maybe she’d made him uncomfortable.  Or maybe it wasn’t that.  Maybe he was having the same sorts of feelings for her that she was having for him.  It was all confusing and still new, and she knew this was the worst possible time to be thinking of all of this. They’d just gone off together to start new lives someplace else.  Now was not the time to mess everything up by complicating it all with feelings and hormones.  Still, her heart thrummed. 

“Daryl?” she asked softly. 

“Yeah?” he asked, finally looking over toward her.  His gaze softened, and she gave him a little smile.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” she murmured.  “I wouldn’t want to do this with anybody else.”

“Me neither,” he replied, giving her a little smile.  “We best get some sleep.”

“Ok,” she offered softly, watching him turn off the TV and then reach for the bedside light. 

“G’night,” he murmured, flicking the switch and bathing them in darkness.

“Night,” she whispered, sighing softly as silence filled the room and her mind began to wander again as her heart hoped for things she couldn’t even let herself hope for.  Tears filled her eyes, and she rolled over to face the wall, praying for sleep and hoping she could keep her mind from drifting to thoughts of him she only let herself think of when she was alone.

*~*~*~*

When Carol woke the next morning, Daryl wasn’t in the room.  His bed was unmade, and the ice bucket was full of water, and his stuff was neatly packed and ready to load up in the car.  She yawned and stretched and tossed her covers off.  She checked her phone, unsurprised to find no messages, but she was very surprised to find that it was nearly noon.

_Why didn’t you wake me?_

She waited for his reply, only to hear his phone buzz from his luggage.  She smirked and shook her head, pulling herself out of bed and heading into the bathroom.

By the time Daryl returned, she’d managed to pee, brush her teeth, get dressed and do her hair.

“Mornin’,” he said with a smile, carrying a paper bag in one hand.  “I got breakfast.”

“Don’t they have free breakfast here?” Carol asked.

“Yeah, a couple stale muffins and some yogurt that looks like it’s been in there for a month.”  Carol made a face.  “Got the sampler platter.  Gravy, eggs, bacon, a couple sausage links.”

“God, that sounds good,” she sighed.  “Thank you.  I’ll get lunch."  She made a face.  “Or supper, since we probably won’t be hungry until then.”  Daryl nodded, sitting down on his bed and setting her food out while he opened up his own and started eating. “How is it?”

“Better’n anything I could cook,” he snorted, popping an entire sausage link in his mouth.   Carol grinned and settled down on her bed, leaning over to grab a piece of bacon.  She’d chosen a baby blue tank top, and the moment she leaned over, he could see right down her shirt.  He cleared his throat and sat up a little, trying not to stare. 

“What?”

“Nothin’,” he muttered, taking a forkful of egg in hopes she wouldn’t press the issue.

“Do you want to take a quick swim this morning?  It felt really good.”

“Nah, I’m good,” he offered.  “Maybe tonight.”

“Ok,” she said with a shrug.  “I’m telling you, a soak in the pool does wonders for sore muscles.  Oh!  I’ll start out driving today, if that’s ok.”

“Sure,” he nodded.  Carol eyed him. 

“You ok?”

“Good.  Hungry.”  He grabbed a piece of bacon and then followed it up with a piece of toast. 

“Slow down.  It’s not your last meal, you know,” she laughed.  She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, taking a bite of egg. 

“Good?”

“Mmm,” she hummed.  “So good.”  Daryl couldn’t help but let his gaze follow down her neck, over the swell of her breasts.  He looked away when her eyes fluttered open.  “So, tell me.”

“Tell what?” he asked, feeling anxious by the tone of her voice. 

“You know what,” she teased.

“I really don’t,” he stuttered.  “What?”

“How far have you gone?”

“What?” he asked, nearly choking on his scrambled eggs.

“What?” she asked.  “C’mon, you tell me and I’ll tell you.”  Her stomach twisted into knots, and she felt her face burning from her own boldness.

“I ain’t tellin’ you that,” he snorted, wiping his mouth. 

“Why not?” she asked. 

“’Cause it’s private.”

“But I’m your best friend.  I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

“You’ve…got somethin’ to tell?” he asked.

“Maybe,” she teased.  Daryl rolled his eyes.

“I don’t wanna know.”  Carol frowned.  “I don’t.”  That was a damned lie.  If anybody had put their hands on her, he wanted to know, and he wanted names, because damn it, he felt jealousy hit him right in the gut like a ton of bricks. 

“Fine,” she sighed.  “You know, it’s not really that big of a deal, anyway.  I heard Andrea telling some of the other girls that it wasn’t like they make it look in movies.  That it hurt more than anything else.”

“Ah, alright.  I ain’t hungry no more,” he grunted.

“Oh, come on.”

“I don’t wanna talk about this.  Maybe girls talk ‘bout this shit together, but I don’t wanna do it.”  Carol groaned and pushed her food aside.

“I’m bored.”

“So you wanna talk about this?  _That’s_ where your mind goes?”  She smiled at the look on his face.  His brows were creased, his jaw was slack, and he looked like somebody had knocked the wind out of him.  He was caught off guard, and she knew that if sometimes with Daryl Dixon, you had to jump right in the deep end instead of wading around the shallows.

“Well, I’ve been thinking,” she murmured.  “We both had certain impressions about the other person, just based on what was said, not based on what _we_ said.  We’re supposed to be best friends.  We’re supposed to talk about stuff like this.”  Daryl gave her a look, and she smiled.  “You don’t have to tell me.  It’s just interesting is all.”

“Why’s it interesting?”

“I don’t know.  I guess I just figured if one of us was going to do it first, it would be you.”

“Why me?” Daryl asked, narrowing his eyes at her.  “Girls don’t like me.”

“Oh, Pookie,” she pouted, “you have no idea how much the girls talked about you.  They thought you were tough and mysterious.  You could have had your pick of a lot of girls.”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied with an eye roll.

“I’m serious, Daryl.”  She smiled a little.  “You have no idea how much of a catch you are.  You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.  You’re kind.  Handsome.”  She watched the tips of his ears turn red, and she put her food aside, swinging her legs over the side of her bed.  She bumped his foot with her own, and he looked up at her.  He could have sworn he saw a sadness in her eyes then, and that confused the hell out of him. 

“Been to second base,” he muttered.

“What?” she coughed out.  “Really?”  Her eyebrows shot up, and his ears got redder.  “What…what was it like?”

“I dunno.  Don’t really remember it.  Kinda happened fast.”

“With who?”

“You really wanna know?” he asked.  “Some girl from another school.”

“Oh,” she murmured, feeling a knot in her gut.

“It was warm,” he offered with a shrug.  A laugh fell from Carol’s lips.

“Well, that’s descriptive,” she laughed. 

“Well, hell, it woulda gone farther than that, but her damned boyfriend showed up.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, she left that part out.”

“Oh God,” she choked out, “what happened?”

“I sputtered somethin’ like ‘sorry, I didn’t know’ and got the hell outta there.  She was mad, he was lookin’ like he wanted to pound my face in, and I was just glad I never had to see her again.”

“Oh what I wouldn’t have given to have been a fly on the wall for the conversation that came later,” she laughed.  “You really didn’t sleep with her?”

“No.  Hell, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doin’, but I guess she liked it enough ‘til that asshole showed up.”  He glanced at her.  “Happened after Karen.”

“What?!” 

“Homecoming.”

“Oh my God,” Carol murmured.  “That’s crazy.”

“Ain’t that crazy,” Daryl shrugged.  In fact, it had been crazy.  He’d been coming to find her to try and get up the courage to ask her to dance when he’d seen her kissing a guy from that other school. 

“I kissed someone that night,” she confessed.

“Yeah, I know.  Saw you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” he muttered.  Carol flinched then, taking a deep breath. 

“Oh,” she said quietly.  “You never said anything.”

“Wasn’t my business.”  Finding that girl from the other school and making out with her in her car hadn’t been his proudest moment.  But she’d liked him, and she’d been willing, and they probably would have gone all the way had her boyfriend not showed up.  He’d used her.  He knew it.  He felt dirty about it.  But then again, she’d had her hands places that no other girl had ever touched, and she hadn’t exactly disclosed the fact that her boyfriend was starting quarterback of the football team.

“Second base for me, too,” she blushed.   Daryl was pretty sure his ears were smoking at this point. 

“Tell me it wasn’t that walking tree trunk from Homecoming,” Daryl groaned.

“No.  Not him.  His brother,” she winced.  “Turns out, my sweet homecoming kiss was secretly gay, and he was having a difficult time coming to terms with it.  He introduced me to his brother, and we kind of hit it off.  Not my proudest moment, I’ll tell you.”

“What made you stop?  I mean, why didn’t you…”

“I wasn’t ready,” she said with a shrug.  “And I didn’t care about him.  I didn’t want to do it with someone I didn’t care about.  So, here we are.”  She shrugged. 

“Damn,” Daryl muttered. 

“Yeah,” she chuckled.  “Sorry.  I don’t know why I brought it up.”

“You were bored, right?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled.  “I guess…no.”  She shook her head.

“What?”

“Nothing.  It’s stupid.”  She shook her head, and she got up, grabbing her bag. 

“What?  Tell me.”  He stood then, and Carol’s face was a shade of pink he wasn’t used to.  She didn’t usually embarrass easily. 

“It’s stupid.”

“Tell me.”

“Daryl…”

“I’m your best friend, remember.  It’s me.  Tell me.”   She had backed herself into a corner she couldn’t get out of now.  She didn’t know where her head had been at, because what she had been thinking at the potential to wreck everything that was wonderful about their relationship.  She loved him.  She loved him more than a friend loved another friend, and she knew that suggesting what was on the tip of her tongue was not only unfair to him, but it was unfair to her as well.

“It was stupid, and please don’t take me seriously,” she groaned.

“What?”

“I’m just…we’re both virgins.  We’re best friends.  You’re a guy.  I’m a girl.  I mean, who better to learn from than someone you trust?”

“You…”  His face turned about every shade of red imaginable. 

“It’s stupid.  I told you.”

“You want…you want to have sex?  With me?”  He blinked a few times.  His mouth went dry.  His heart did a little dance in his chest before his stomach twisted into knots.  How many times had he played this scenario over and over in his head?  If only she’d really meant it, if only she’d really wanted it because she felt the same way he felt about her.

“No.  No.  I mean, I thought…see?  I told you.  Stupid.  And don’t mind me.  I’m tired and emotional, and I didn’t sleep well last night.  Can we forget I said that?  Please?”  She gathered her things and turned to walk out of the room, and he sat back down on the bed, feeling tingly in just about every place imaginable.  His heart was racing, and he didn’t quite know what to do.

To say he hadn’t fantasized about her asking him to make love to her for the past year and a half would have been a lie.  But he didn’t want to be some experiment.  He didn’t want her to be that for him, either.  He wanted her.  All of her.  But he didn’t want to be with her if he wasn’t really what she wanted.

He grabbed his things, and he grabbed his room key, and he walked out, heading down to the car where she was now sitting in the passenger’s seat with her hands covering her face.  He threw his stuff in the back and tapped on the driver’s side window.  She groaned and rolled the window down, and he gave her that smile. 

“I’m mortified.”

“You’re my best friend,” he promised.  “That’s why we’re not gonna do this.” 

“You’re right.  We’re not.  Because that was stupid.  So stupid.”

“It wasn’t stupid.”  She shook her head.  “Hey.  Look at me.”  She looked at him.  “It wasn’t stupid.  You said it yourself.  You want your first time to be with somebody you care about.  And so do I.  And that’s not us, right?  I mean, we care about each other, but…it’s…”  The more he talked, the tighter his gut felt.  How the hell was he turning her down when she was everything he wanted?  But he knew.  If she really wanted him, really cared for him like he cared for her, then it would be different.   

“Right.”  She bit the inside of her lip to keep it from trembling.  Didn’t he know that he held her very fragile heart in his hands?  As gentle as Daryl Dixon could be, the weight of his words hit her hard.  But he was still there in front of her.  She hadn’t scared him off.  She felt thankful for that.

“I’m gonna go turn the keys in, ok?”

“Ok,” she agreed, watching him walk back toward the hotel.  She rested her head back against the seat, and she covered her face with her hands.  “What the hell was that?” she whispered aloud to nobody.  When he returned to the car, he slipped in and flipped through the CDs they’d brought along.  Carol stared at him.  “That’s…that’s it?”

“What?”

“So, discussion over?”

“There’s more to talk about?” he asked.  “I mean, I…”

“Are we ok?  I didn’t just completely screw up everything, did I?”

“You didn’t screw anything up,” Daryl promised. 

“I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“We trust each other.  We know each other.  It makes sense if you think about it,” Daryl murmured.

“But it’s you and me.”

“Us,” Daryl agreed.

“We can’t.”

“We can’t,” he echoed. 

“And that’s that,” Carol offered with a nod.  Daryl gave her a little nod but said nothing.  “So we’re ok?”

“We’re great,” he promised.  “Now will ya watch the road?  I wanna get wherever we’re goin’ in one piece.”

“Well, if you’d put on some decent music, then maybe my eyes would stay on the road and not be rolling up in my head every five minutes.”

“You got somethin’ against good rock and roll?”

“Nothing.  Do you actually _have_ any?”

“Ha,” Daryl snorted.  “Just drive.”  Carol grinned then, and Daryl put on the music, and as they started off toward their next destination, both eager to put time and space between that awkward conversation.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_It would have been the perfect time to tell her how he felt.  She’d practically asked him to have sex with her, and then came the awkward conversation, the uncomfortable let down of telling her that he didn’t want to have sex with her because he wanted her to care about the guy she slept with and not in a let’s be friends kind of way.  If only he’d been able to gather up the nerve to tell her ‘hey, guy in love with you, right here,’ they might still be in that hotel room.  But he hadn’t.  Instead, he’d chalked it up to fear of the unknown settling in now that they were on the road and traveling somewhere where the only people they knew were each other._

_Maybe it was just best to pretend that everything was ok until it really was._

*~*~*~*

_It would have been the perfect time to tell him how she felt.  She had never been so terrible with words, and everything had come out in such a horrific way.  Who did that?  Who looked at their best friend and basically suggested they lose their virginities to one another because, hey, why not?  Who the hell did that?  Me, apparently, Carol thought bitterly.  And to top it all off, he’d given her an opportunity to put it all on the table.  He told her no.  He told her he wanted her to care for the person she did this with.  He knew her that well.  He listened. He understood. All she had to do in that moment was tell him that he was the one person she did care about in that way.  She figured most of the eighteen year old guys they went to school with would have hopped at the opportunity, but not Daryl.  He wouldn’t take advantage, and that was one of the many reasons she loved him so much._

_Why did everything have to be so fucking confusing?_

*~*~*~*

“You’re quiet,” Daryl murmured.

“So are you,” Carol pointed out, flipping her sunglasses up to the top of her head and turning to look at him.  “We’ve never been awkward and quiet like this before.  I don’t like it.”

“Me neither,” he muttered.   Then he grinned, staring out over the stretch of land on the lonely, back road he’d turned off on an hour ago.

“What’s that grin for?”

“I can pull over and we can just get it over with, ya know?”

“Shut up,” she laughed.

“M’serious,” he teased.  “Only thing that’s gonna settle this.”

“Shut up, jerk,” she laughed, pushing on his arm. 

“Yep.  I’ve seen you lookin’.  You want this.”  He wiggled his eyebrows at her.  “I mean, I can’t blame ya.  I’ve been workin’ out.  And, I mean, I’m packing.”

“Oh God, shut up!” she snorted.  “I’m never living that down, am I?  It was dumb.  You don’t want me.”  She hadn’t meant to say it that way.  Daryl turned to look at her, and she sighed.  “I mean, you don’t.  We’re friends.  That’s it.  If it was going to happen, it would’ve happened, right?”

“I dunno,” Daryl murmured, glancing in the rear view mirror before pulling over to the side of the road.  “We ain’t done talkin’ about this, are we?”

“I guess not,” she sighed.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to make this so weird.”

“Would it make ya feel better or worse if I told ya I thought about it before?” 

“You…you have?” she asked, eyes widening.

“’Course.  Been a lot of times I’ve been flat out jealous, seein’ guys lookin’ at you.  You’re beautiful.”  Carol blushed, and she bit her bottom lip. 

“I’ve been jealous, too,” she admitted.  “I’ve thought things.  I just didn’t realize…”  She sighed heavily, and she ran her fingers through her hair.  “Do you still?”  He looked at her, wanting to take that chance, wanting to make that leap, but his mind was screaming at him to say anything but exactly what he wanted to say.  He was torn.

“Sometimes,” he admitted.  _All the goddamned time._  

“Oh,” Carol murmured.  “Me too.  What does that mean?”

“Don’t have to mean anything.  Means we’ve known each other so long, we’re all each other’s got.”  Carol stared at him for a moment.  Well, there was that.  He was her closest friend, the one person she felt most comfortable with in the entire world.  It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination to think that maybe some of those things she’d been feeling had been because she trusted him more than anyone else. She couldn’t deny she was attracted to him, she couldn’t deny that she loved him, but maybe that was because she hadn’t let herself think of anyone else that way.  But did _he_ want it to mean something.

“You mean, we trust each other.  So we feel closer to each other because of that.  It’s safe?  Is that…is that what you’re saying?”  Daryl stared at her.  He honestly didn’t know what to say.  He wanted her.  He couldn’t deny that.  This was more than feeling safe.  This was feeling everything he’d been feeling since the first time she’d touched him in a way that sent sparks sizzling in his veins. He hadn’t just woken up one day and realized he was in love with her.  It had happened gradually over time until one day he woke up and put those little pieces together and realized that the feeling he had in his stomach every time he saw another guy flirting with her was because he was afraid of losing her.  But he’d resigned himself to being her best friend, the guy closest to her in the world, and all this time, she’d been feeling things for him, too?

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with safe, but maybe that ain’t what you want.”  Carol eyed him for a moment.

“So you’re saying, when I said what I said at the hotel this morning, you were thinking about it.”

“’Course I was thinkin’ about it.  But I don’t wanna hurt you.  You’re my best friend, and I love ya more than I love anybody else.”

“I love you, too,” she smiled. 

“But I want ya to be sure of what ya want.”

“I want that for you, too,” she murmured.  “I want you to be happy.  We’re both coming out of pretty shitty situations, and you’ve been the one constant good thing in my life.”

“You, too,” he admitted. 

“So,” Carol murmured, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks.  “Now what?”

“Now,” Daryl grunted, putting the car back into drive and pulling back out on the highway, “we keep goin’ forward.  See what tomorrow has for us.”

*~*~*~*~*

They found a place early that night, giving Carol plenty of time to let her hair down and go out to the pool.  The swimming suit she wore was still wet from the night before, and she made a mental note to do laundry down in the guest laundry, but all she wanted the second they threw their stuff in the room was to jump in the pool. So, she slipped on that cool, wet suit, threw a towel around her waist and headed down to the pool.

She was surprised when Daryl came down a few minutes later.  The sun was beginning to set in the sky, and she couldn’t help but grin at how pale his chest was compared to his arms.  They’d been driving so much and so long that they were both a little burnt.  Meanwhile, his chest was pale and certainly in need of some sunlight.

“Nice farmer’s tan,” she grinned.

“Huh?”  Daryl looked down at his pale form and snorted at the sight of his chest and stomach and upper thighs.  “Shit.” 

Still, the view was pretty nice.  He had been working out, and his arms and torso were very nicely sculpted.  Carol couldn’t help but take a minute to soak in the view. 

“Come on in.  The water’s great.”  She watched as he grabbed the safety rail and stepped down into the pool, grimacing as the cold water inched up his legs with each step he took.  Carol couldn’t help but laugh at the face he made when he was finally submerged up to his neck. 

“Christ, that’s cold,” he shivered.

“Give it a minute.  You’ll adjust,” she promised, rising up a little, arching back, hair dripping wet, falling back into the water as her breasts bounced and swayed with each backstroke.  Daryl groaned softly, thankful that all of her splashing masked the sound. 

It wasn’t long before his body adjusted to the water’s temperature, and he ducked under the water, getting an eyeful of her beautiful body in the hazy blue water.  When he came up for air, Carol was smiling at him, and she splashed some water his way.  She laughed, but the smile faded when she saw how he was looking at her.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured.

“Daryl…”  She blushed. 

“Sorry.  Probably shouldn’t have…”

“It’s ok,” she smiled.  “Thank you.”  She bit her lip and ducked back under the water, coming up and running her fingers through her curls.  When she opened her eyes, Daryl was gone, and she felt something brush against her leg.  She squealed, and he came up for air a few feet away.   She sighed softly, feeling the breeze blowing over the surface of the water.  She pulled her feet up and began to float on her back, letting the water carry her slowly about the pool. 

She heard the water splashing off of him when he got out of the pool, and she cracked one eye open to see him standing at the side.  He had a great body.   His wet skin glistened in the sunlight, and she couldn’t help but let her gaze wander down his stomach to the V of his hips, where his swimming trunks hung low enough to expose a thin patch of hair that disappeared into his trunks.

“You done already?” she asked.  “It feels so good.”  Daryl snorted at that, and Carol grimaced at her choice of words.  But, before she could say another word, Daryl took a running leap and did a cannonball right into the pool.  Carol screeched, quickly ducking under the water and coming back up for air, sputtering and coughing.  “Sign says no diving!”

“What can I say?” he murmured.  “I’m a rebel.”  Carol splashed him again, and he splashed her back, and they went back and forth for a few minutes, before Daryl ducked under the water and grabbed Carol’s ankle.  She kicked out of instinct, and her foot came into contact with something, and her eyes went wide the second he came up for air, groaning.

“Oh.  Are you ok?  I didn’t kick you in the face did I?”

“Nope.  No, definitely not in the face,” he grimaced, clutching his stomach. 

“Did I…?”

“You got me in the stomach.  No big deal.  Shit, you got strong legs for a girl.”  Carol poked out her lower lip and gave him a little pout. 

“Sorry.”  She took a step closer to him.  “You ok?”

“M’fine,” he promised.  “My own damn fault for doin’ that.”  He ran his fingers through his hair, and he felt his heart begin to race when he saw the way she was looking at him.  “What?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“I just…I want to.” She bit her bottom lip.

“You do?” he asked, jaw dropping slightly, as she took another step toward him in the pool. 

“I just wanna see.  Maybe it’ll clear things up.  Maybe there won’t be…anything.”  She sighed softly.  “But mostly, I just…I want to.”  Her gaze flickered to his lips and then back to his eyes.  “We don’t...if you don’t want to, I’m just…”  He took another step toward her, and she shivered when his eyes darkened. 

He swallowed and took a deep breath before he leaned in, pressing his lips gently against the corner of her mouth.  She shivered against him, moving her hands to his shoulders.  He pulled back briefly, and she leaned forward, and then he pressed his lips against hers, softly and slowly, feeling her breath tremble against his lips. 

Her hand gently brushed against the side of his face, and she sighed softly as one of his arms moved under the water, wrapping around her waist.

She was shaking, and her other hand moved to his chest, not to push him away but to feel his quickening pulse against her fingertips.  She hummed softly, sliding her tongue against his lips to taste him.  He groaned then, opening up to her, meeting her tongue with his own.  She sighed against his mouth, gasping softly when he deepened the kiss. 

She draped her arms over his shoulders when he pulled her just a little closer, and when he broke the kiss, she leaned in to rest her forehead against his. 

“Damn,” he murmured, causing Carol to laugh. 

“Yeah,” she murmured.

“That clear anything up for you?”

“Oh yeah.  I think we’re in trouble here,” she whispered. Daryl snorted then, and she laughed again despite the tears stinging her eyes.  She blinked them away resting her head against his shoulder and hugging him close. 

“Carol?”

“Hmm?”

“I was lyin’ before when I said ‘sometimes.’  Been feelin’ like this for a while.  Just didn’t know how to tell ya.”

“Me too,” she admitted, pulling back to look at him.  Her lips were pink and plump from their kiss, and all he wanted to do was kiss her all over again.  “So, what now?”

“Don’t know.  Just know I like kissin’ you.”

“I like kissing you,” she grinned.  “Maybe a little too much.”  She leaned in again, kissing him, moving her hand down the side of his neck.  “Friends can kiss each other, right?”

“Sure,” he chuckled.  “But I ain’t so sure I wanna just be your friend right now.”

“Yeah.  But we can talk about that later, right?” she asked.  He nodded, swallowing hard.  She sighed, and he kissed her forehead, and she moved her hands down his stomach and around to his back.  Daryl nearly choked, and he blushed then, letting go of her and backing up a little.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’,” he promised with a little shrug.  “I just need a second.”  His face was bright red.  Carol’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh!”  She blushed, and she splashed a little water on her face.  “Ok.  I, uh…I’m just going to swim.”

“Yeah.  You do that,” he snorted.  “I’ll be good in a minute.”  Carol bit her lip, blushing brightly as she held her nose and ducked under the water.  Daryl took a deep, shaking breath and looked skyward, hoping for the fire running through his veins to simmer down a little. 

It certainly wasn’t his first kiss, but kissing her was unlike anything he’d ever experienced, and he was absolutely certain that their friendship was never going to be the same.  And maybe that was a good thing, after all.


End file.
